ergo, naught: much ado about nothing

I guess the thing I hate most about many of the “name” open source wankers I’ve known is the same thing I hate about bloggers (howdy Mister Kettle), and that is because they’re a bunch of self-important pukes spewing forth their “Hey look at me” shitsmeared Holier-Than-You-At-least uselessness everywhere they go.

They drip with it. Maybe they can’t help it. Slugs smothered in the mucus of their own self-delusion.

What brings this on is the self-promotional antics of someone I know of (though do not know, personally). He was involved in a very high-profile legal/political issue. Looking at it from the side of a spectator, once it became clear that the fight was lost he bailed out and found some other way to feed his starving rockstar ego.

Months later, when it seems that, in fact, at the very 23:59 midnight fucking hour the fight may yet be saved and a victory of sorts pulled out, lo and behold here comes King Wonderfuck Himself gallantly leading His abandoned forces over the final token hurdle to make sure His name is on the prize.

No surprise then to find this same individual demonstrating his great stores of humility by ensuring that everyone he knows reads the clue-devoid articles that proclaim him to be the Hero of the Hour, Your Friend and Mine, Saviour of All That is Holy, ye very Shitburglar of Shitburglars.

It’s not visionaries I mean. It’s just fucking vultures.

Maybe one day they’ll all take a good hard look at themselves and blow their fucking heads off.

But I’ve never been one to give way to romantic optimism.

Hard to believe this isn’t a joke blog, since I keep doing this. However:

The couple had been debating the purchase of a new auto for weeks.

He wanted a new truck; she wanted a fast little sports-like car so she could zip through traffic around town. He would probably have settled on any beat up old truck, but everything she seemed to like was way out of their price range.

“Look !” she said. ” I want something that goes from 0 to 200 in 4 seconds or less, and my birthday is coming up. You could surprise me.”

So, for her birthday, he bought her a brand new bathroom scale.

Services will be held at the Jack Leg Funeral Home and due to the extent of the deceased’s injuries, the service will be closed casket.

It was the end of the school year, and a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils.

The florist’s son handed her a gift. She shook it, held it overhead, and said, “I bet I know what it is. Some flowers.” “That’s right” the boy said, “but how did you know?” “Oh, just a wild guess,” she said.

The next pupil was the sweet shop owner’s daughter. The teacher held her gift overhead, shook it, and said, “I bet I can guess what it is. A box of sweets.” “That’s right, but how did you know?” asked the girl. “Oh, just a wild guess,” said the teacher.

The next gift was from the son of the liquor store owner. The teacher held the package overhead, but it was leaking. She touched a drop of the leakage with her finger and touched it to her tongue. “Is it wine?” she asked. “No,” the boy replied, with some excitement.

The teacher repeated the process, taking a larger drop of the leakage to her tongue. “Is it champagne?” she asked. “No,” the boy replied, with more excitement.

The teacher took one more taste before declaring, “I give up, what is it?”

With great glee, the boy replied, “It’s a puppy!”

A friend of mine provides me with this astute observation, via his grandfather:

“They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq. Why don’t we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it’s worked for over 200 years… and we’re not using it anymore.”

I don’t know the original source, but I like it.