ergo, naught: much ado about nothing

I guess the thing I hate most about many of the “name” open source wankers I’ve known is the same thing I hate about bloggers (howdy Mister Kettle), and that is because they’re a bunch of self-important pukes spewing forth their “Hey look at me” shitsmeared Holier-Than-You-At-least uselessness everywhere they go.

They drip with it. Maybe they can’t help it. Slugs smothered in the mucus of their own self-delusion.

What brings this on is the self-promotional antics of someone I know of (though do not know, personally). He was involved in a very high-profile legal/political issue. Looking at it from the side of a spectator, once it became clear that the fight was lost he bailed out and found some other way to feed his starving rockstar ego.

Months later, when it seems that, in fact, at the very 23:59 midnight fucking hour the fight may yet be saved and a victory of sorts pulled out, lo and behold here comes King Wonderfuck Himself gallantly leading His abandoned forces over the final token hurdle to make sure His name is on the prize.

No surprise then to find this same individual demonstrating his great stores of humility by ensuring that everyone he knows reads the clue-devoid articles that proclaim him to be the Hero of the Hour, Your Friend and Mine, Saviour of All That is Holy, ye very Shitburglar of Shitburglars.

It’s not visionaries I mean. It’s just fucking vultures.

Maybe one day they’ll all take a good hard look at themselves and blow their fucking heads off.

But I’ve never been one to give way to romantic optimism.

Hard to believe this isn’t a joke blog, since I keep doing this. However:

The couple had been debating the purchase of a new auto for weeks.

He wanted a new truck; she wanted a fast little sports-like car so she could zip through traffic around town. He would probably have settled on any beat up old truck, but everything she seemed to like was way out of their price range.

“Look !” she said. ” I want something that goes from 0 to 200 in 4 seconds or less, and my birthday is coming up. You could surprise me.”

So, for her birthday, he bought her a brand new bathroom scale.

Services will be held at the Jack Leg Funeral Home and due to the extent of the deceased’s injuries, the service will be closed casket.

It was the end of the school year, and a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils.

The florist’s son handed her a gift. She shook it, held it overhead, and said, “I bet I know what it is. Some flowers.” “That’s right” the boy said, “but how did you know?” “Oh, just a wild guess,” she said.

The next pupil was the sweet shop owner’s daughter. The teacher held her gift overhead, shook it, and said, “I bet I can guess what it is. A box of sweets.” “That’s right, but how did you know?” asked the girl. “Oh, just a wild guess,” said the teacher.

The next gift was from the son of the liquor store owner. The teacher held the package overhead, but it was leaking. She touched a drop of the leakage with her finger and touched it to her tongue. “Is it wine?” she asked. “No,” the boy replied, with some excitement.

The teacher repeated the process, taking a larger drop of the leakage to her tongue. “Is it champagne?” she asked. “No,” the boy replied, with more excitement.

The teacher took one more taste before declaring, “I give up, what is it?”

With great glee, the boy replied, “It’s a puppy!”

A friend of mine provides me with this astute observation, via his grandfather:

“They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq. Why don’t we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it’s worked for over 200 years… and we’re not using it anymore.”

I don’t know the original source, but I like it.

Today I have observed, hardly for the first time, that I find weakness generally repugnant.

I do not mean vulnerability… You have to be open to the pain to experience the pleasure, otherwise you may as well lie down and wait for the formalities; you’re already dead.

I do not mean physical weakness or similar issues of impossibility… If you can’t, you can’t, and nothing changes that, though you NEVER know unless you try, Kettle.

I mean fragility, of sorts. The crumbling-psyche, self-justifying, just-shy-of-crying ANYTHING BUT THAT sort of idiot weakness where an individual otherwise sane and appearing both rational and intelligent begins to twitch about and do or say things “out of character” with very good reasons (so far as they are concerned) as to why they are betraying themselves.

The root is fear, as fear is the root of all evil (nope; it’s not money). Usually a ridiculous response to fear of being alone.

I’m not saying I’ve never been guilty of it, or couldn’t be guilty of it.

I’m just saying it stinks.

Consistency is the foundation for respect and trust, cornerstones of any relationship. If you set up certain expectations among those with whom you have “relationships", and then you immediately toss those overboard when The Big Loneliness seems imminent, I think you end up causing yourself an even greater loss (self-dignity, other relationships, et cetera).

You come off as wishy-washy. Weak. Unpredictable.

How to believe your words? How to trust your actions?

How to know who the hell you are anymore?

My wife dragged me to a club in Atlanta last night to see Manowar (with Holyhell and Rhapsody opening). I had actually never been to a “real concert” (discounting the amateur (but kick-ass) efforts of smaller bands consisting of friends or the relatives of friends), amazingly enough given my life experiences, so this was Ye Olde Cherrie Poppe.
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So my grandmother (father’s side) died this morning, apparently in her sleep.

I suppose there really is not much more to say on that subject.

Starting on April 1 in order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T.). We are trying to give employees more S.H.I.T. than anyone else.

If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. on the job, please see your manager. You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T. list, and our managers are especially skilled at seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle.

Employees who don’t take their S.H.I.T. will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.). Those who fail to take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T. S.H.I.T.). Since our managers took S.H.I.T. before they were promoted, they don’t have to do S.H.I.T. anymore, and are all full of S.H.I.T. already.

If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in a job training others. We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LECTURE LIST (B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T.). Those who are full of B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T. will get the S.H.I.T. jobs, and can apply for promotion to DIRECTOR OF INTENSITY PROGRAMMING (D.I.P. S.H.I.T.).

If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF TRAINING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T. S.H.I.T.).

Thank you,

BOSS IN GENERAL
SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING
(B.I.G. S.H.I.T.)

This has been a bad month for me, and this week has been especially rotten as well. People around me seem to be oblivious to this, even when it is explained in simple terms for their little minds, and especially those for whom all this should be perfectly clear without even bothering to think about it. 110% Price Match Guaranteed. DILTIAZEM (CARDIZEM ®). Cardizem LicensFind Blood Pressure Resources and Information Here. 110% Price Match Guaranteed.

So I thought I would write about people who need to have their skulls bashed right the fuck in, today.
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Another not-Earth-shattering-revelation as I went off on a miniature rant today, inspired by the discovery of the pricing plans provided by a particular company for one of their products. As I have friends at the company I will refrain from identifying it by name, however I should note that the company, like so many others, appears to have decided recently that the only money that matters comes from Fortune 500 companies, and to hell with the rest of the marketplace.

This rant was along these lines:

If you think thousands of dollars per CPU is a reasonable price, under any circumstance, for any product put out by that company, then you are an idiot.

But whatever. To each his own. Not everyone wants to help people.

Some people just want to suck off their corporate masters.

As long as they can get a mouthful they don’t give a fuck.

One thing leading to another, I found myself listening to Johnny Cash’s cover of Hurt, talking to a friend (I guess?) and coworker (that much is certain), and we get into a brief discussion about pain and creativity.

Why is it that pain seems to be the real creative force? I asked. Love and happiness burn themselves up in their own expression, but hurt seems infinitely renewable.

And he says to me, paraphrasing a bit, “Pain is trying to get somewhere, happiness is being there".

So pain is the journey is pain.

Pain Is.

Not precisely an Earth-shattering revelation (Buddhists, at least, have known it for thousands of years), but I found the conversation sufficiently interesting to note it.

So when I was younger, I guess I was a kind of “hopeless romantic". I believed in love, and soul mates, and any number of other Bright, Happy, Hopeful Things that all, so far as I was able to tell, had been made manifest upon this planet in the form of Her.

And then the Great Miracle: She made all that was good and all that was worthwhile in the world, namely Herself, mine. She was The Way and Light and Life.

Cynics and sadists may be excused from the room so that their laughter does not disturb the rest of the class.
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I saw this quote, which I love, on a forum just now:

“I love music because it unites people- brings them together. It enables me, a human being, to communicate with you- you fucking asshole.” -Elvis Costello

Deciding that the attribution could only be fake, I decided to waste a few seconds with Google and see if I could find out for sure if he ever really said this. Surprise! According to a web site for Late Night with Conan O’Brien at NBC.com, he really did.

Comedy skit or not, I like it.